I am afraid of heights.
I AM AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
Now, all of a sudden in my older unrecorded age, I have anxiety and I can’t make heads or tails of it sometimes. But all my life, I have been afraid of heights. In my recent post 40+ hours in 3 days::Single Parenting, I mentioned this fair that Daniel and I enjoyed after a long weekend of work.
We have been going to this fair every year since we have lived here in Pennsylvania. It is only by some act of magic that I made it to the Walmart across the street on this particular Sunday night that we actually were able to go over to the fair.
IT WAS THE LAST NIGHT!
They had extended hours and a crazy price drop! Daniel got to ride EVERYTHING!
Until he saw the inflatable race and decided he wanted to go. So here I am like, oh okay! Let’s do it!
You go inside through a little hole (i’m claustrophobic) and fight through these punching bag thingys (not too bad). Then you climb up some steps and head down a slide. Not too shabby for a neighborhood fair. NOT! There’s another obstacle. You climb up another set of steps, alongside another slide, however at the top you have an option. You can either slide down the slide, or take this leap into the pad below.
Before I could even discuss this with my child, he was already at the bottom with no problem. I wanted to scream – so I did. He climbed out of the pad and I was next up. I was beyond terrified. My heart is racing RIGHT NOW as I am typing this! I walked to the ledge and I looked down and I had one of those moments from the movies, where it looked like the ground was jiggling or something. I took a quick survey of the potential risks and decided that it wasn’t worth it. As I turned to go down the slide I saw my little super hero cheering me on from below! That slide was no longer an option. I had to be brave like him.
So I walked to the ledge again, assessed the risks, attempted to jump and…nothing! I was literally paralyzed by fear (Episode 5 – She Lifts Podcast). I couldn’t move and I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. At this point a small crowd had gathered below. They all began cheering me on alongside my super hero son.
So I walked to the ledge again, did some crazy looking move like I was about to jump double dutch and…I just couldn’t let go. This was a real feat! The crowd grew bigger and they began chanting for me to JUMP!! That was it! I couldn’t let these people down and most importantly I had to be brave for my little courageous one. I put my cape on (figuratively, of course) and jumped right on off that bad boy – screaming the whole way down.
I made it yall!! I couldn’t be more proud of myself. I have been zip lining, I get on roller coasters, I fly in planes, but this one nearly killed me.
I had to be brave for Daniel, because he was brave, himself!